New: CNN for morons
For example, here are the "story highlights" for the seven-sentence story, "Man pummels 'vampire' peacock":
- A man beat up a peacock that had wandered into a Burger King parking lot
- The peacock was beaten so badly it had to be euthanized
- Witnesses said the man claimed to be killing a "vampire"
• She lit up when interacting with children, CNN correspondent says
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