New: CNN for morons

CNN has updated its website so that stories are accompanied by a set of simplified bullet points, suitable for PowerPoint presentations, even if the stories themselves are only seven sentences long.

For example, here are the "story highlights" for the seven-sentence story, "Man pummels 'vampire' peacock":

• A man beat up a peacock that had wandered into a Burger King parking lot
  
• The peacock was beaten so badly it had to be euthanized
  
• Witnesses said the man claimed to be killing a "vampire"

At least there's the benefit that sometimes individual bullet points can be unintentionally amusing, such as this one from a story about Jenna Bush traveling to Africa, which suggests some inappropriate behavior:

• She lit up when interacting with children, CNN correspondent says